


Four Black Mages Walk Into A Sunken Temple

by silveradept



Category: Final Fantasy I
Genre: Banter, Black Mage College Dropouts, Innuendo, Irreverent Attitudes Toward Saving The World, M/M, Suggested (And Quickly Discarded) Black Mages/Kraken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28672548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silveradept/pseuds/silveradept
Summary: On their way down to fight the Fiend of Water, the four Light Warriors reflect on how they have managed to get so far without screwing things up, which astonishes them as much as it does everyone  else.
Relationships: Black Mage/Black Mage/Black Mage/Black Mage
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4
Collections: Holly Poly 2020





	Four Black Mages Walk Into A Sunken Temple

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FireEye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireEye/gifts).



> I was inspired to go for this by the note you left about the good White Magex4 fic you got from the last round. I hope this is a worthy successor!

"How the fuck do you do that?" Koji asked as another bolt of lightning arced between their opponents, leaving them floating lifelessly in the water.

"Same way that you burn them to a crisp in the air: focus, draw on the magic, execute," Rai said, smiling.

"You know what I mean, smartass," Koji said, returning Rai's smile. "How do you let loose with lightning without cooking all of _us_ in the process?"

"Well, part of it is that I like you all and don't want you to die," Rai replied. Koji rolled his eyes, but gestured for Rai to continue. "I can feel it, okay? I know which way the lightning is going to run, and I can change things so that the bolt goes where I want it to."

"Well, I'm glad you can," Koji said. "It's a lot harder trying to get my flames to work underwater, so I'm starting to feel a little useless next to you, Quilo, and Nick."

"Well, without those flames, we would have had a really hard time cooking all those undead we keep coming across, like the ghosts here and especially the vampire and the lich underneath him in the Earth Cave. So you've already been a great help," Quilo said. A couple of water elementals sprang up around them, swirling menacingly. Quilo snapped his fingers at them in response. A cracking sound came from both elementals before ice burst out of them, freezing them solid. The suddenly heavier elementals slowly sank out of sight.

"What?" he said to the open-mouthed Rai and Koji. "They were getting in the way."

"And that's why nobody believes us until we show them the proof," Nick said, shaking his head.

"Just because there's a prophecy doesn't mean we can't have some fun," Koji protested. "And besides, who's watching? All the mermaids were at least a couple floors ago, so if you were trying to impress someone, there was your chance."

"To be fair, the fate of the world is kind of in our hands," Rai said. "And I thought you liked it when Nick gets stern and commanding."

Koji blushed and any further argument died before it passed his lips. Rai took the opportunity to fire another bolt through the water, picking off the sagahins from the sharks they were trying to ride. The sharks seemed undeterred at losing their riders, but after another bolt zipped across their noses, they fled.

"This was so much easier when it was just pirates trying to board the ship," Koji said. "We had a system all worked out between us. Nick put them to sleep and then each of us had a crack at anybody who resisted or woke up. That was some of the best money I've ever made."

"I don't think anyone was expecting to discover an ancient evil guarding the elemental source for the Crystal of Earth," Quilo said. "Well, maybe Nick," he amended, as Nick looked ready to argue.

"The prophecy is pretty clear about that," Nick said. "At least, the one they told me when they shoved me out the door with my diploma."

"Wait, you actually graduated?" Koji said.

"Yeah," Nick replied. "You didn't?"

"Got kicked out in my third year for setting the headmaster's beard on fire," Koji said sheepishly. "He deserved it for saying my boyfriend was a good for nothing."

"The rest of you made it all the way through, right?"

Rather than respond immediately, Quilo and Rai unleashed a blitz of lightning and ice to defeat several more attackers.

"Kicked out my first year," Quilo said when they were safe again. "Encased a romantic rival in an ice dome when he wouldn't stop flirting with my boyfriend."

"You came around quickly enough," Rai said affectionately. "Admittedly, I didn't exactly acquit myself well when I started slinging superhot plasma around after I failed my second year practicals."

"Aigh," Nick grumbled, before gesturing at a lone Sagahin trying to sneak up on them, enveloping him in a cloud of poison that left no evidence behind that anything had been there in the first place. "I have the _worst_ taste in men."

"That's not what you said last night," Rai said. Koji laughed and waggled his eyebrows suggestively at Nick. 

"And you told that cute Elf Price you're having more fun with us saving the world than you ever would have in your alchemy lab in Coneria," Koji added.

"We make a good tea—what the fuck is that?" Quilo said, as a large writhing tentacle passed through the water in front of them, before retreating through a hole in the ceiling of what looked to be the main shrine.

"If this is anything like the previous two times, that's probably the Fiend of Water," Nick said, glad for the subject to be something other than his confessions. At least they had all agreed with him that the Elf Prince was cute.

"Do you think—" Koji began.

"No," Nick said immediately. "I can hear you thinking about tentacle sex all the way over here, Koji. I don't think you, or any of us, or all of us, could fuck the Fiend of Water into giving up the crystal."

"Maybe as a distraction?" Rai said thoughtfully before breaking into a broad grin. "You should see your face, Nick."

"Do you suppose we could hit it from here?" Quilo said, peering over the edge.

"Yeah, I could," Rai said, without looking.

"Prove it," Koji said.

"Wait!" Nick shouted, but Rai had already sent one of his usual bolts of lightning back through the hole they had seen the tentacle disappear into. Almost immediately, a thick cloud of ink billowed out from the hole the lightning had struck.

"And there goes the element of surprise," Nick said.

"He already knew we were here," Rai said dismissively. "Besides, you saw the size of that tentacle. Did you think we could sneak up on him and stab him first?"

Before Nick could reply, they all had to dodge several of those tentacles slamming down in the space where they were. Each of the black mages peppered the appendages with lightning attacks, but only Rai's seemed to do any visible damage, eliciting a shriek and withdrawal of the affected attacker. The other tentacles continued to swing around, looking to crush them against something solid.

"Uh, guys?" Rai shouted over the thrashing tentacles. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I need some space!"

"Now's not the time to say you're breaking up with us!" Quilo shouted, a grin on his face as he headed for safety, Koji hot on his heels. Nick rolled his eyes, dodging and occasionally shocking tentacles that tried to impede him. The water around him was beginning to feel ticklish, and he did not want to be near it when whatever plan Rai had in mind went off. He heard the sound of the discharge as it pushed him into Koji, knocking all three of them afloat and temporarily filling his vision with a searingly bright white.

"Whoa...shit." Quilo said softly. Nick turned his head, blinking to clear his vision, before the tentacles floated apart to reveal Rai in the middle of all of them, cheeky grin on his face and hair slightly frazzled. Despite being framed by tentacles that Nick belatedly realized had been separated from their body, based on the ink and blood mixing into the water, Nick thought the hairstyle looked good on Rai.

"If you hadn't already been expelled, I would throw you out for that stunt myself!" Nick shouted instead, because he didn't want to _encourage_ Rai into doing similarly foolhardy stunts, even if they were effective ones.

"Yeah, well, got the job done," Rai said. "Let's go recharge the Water Crystal."

They had some trouble figuring out how to get the ink to dissipate well enough to see, and then a bit of a scare when it turned out that losing all of its tentacles hadn't actually killed the Fiend of Water, but all four mages pounded lightning into the kraken's brain until he stopped moving and stayed that way.

One more crystal lit, the four of them arranged themselves to take the teleport back to Onrac. Before stepping in, Nick took a look at the carnage they had wrought on the place.

"I still can't believe we haven't gotten ourselves killed," he murmured. "Maybe we are the prophesied Light Warriors after all."

"Have a little confidence," Koji said, slinging an arm around Nick.

"Have a little faith," Rai added, mirroring Koji's gesture on the other side.

"What?" Quilo said as the other two looked at him, clearly expecting him to do the same. "All I've got is that I love all the rest of you and I'll personally rip apart anything that tries to get in between us."

Koji and Rai shook their heads. "It'll do," they said, bringing Quilo into a four-person hug as the teleport sparked to life around them and sent them back to the surface.


End file.
